Not only did they have no rights over property or the work they

put into a family’s prosperity, but they couldn’t count on having

their voices heard when decisions were made which affected the

family and wider clan. Education was certainly not an option,

which was a great shame for my grandmother – an intelligent and

inquisitive child – but the course of her life was set out at birth. She

would be married to a man her parents chose, and she would be

little more than his property, with no will of her own.

A Chinese saying sums it up: ‘Having married a cock she must

follow the cock; having married a dog she must follow the dog;

having married a carrying pole she must carry it for life.’