The written character for mother love is composed of two elements: love and pain. I had always thought this emotion was felt by daughters for their mothers especially when I was growing up and often reluctantly had to help in the family catering business giving up my weekends, social life and teenage years, but looking at the sacrifices my mother made and her courage, I realised this emotion was for her. My mother suffered deeply to give birth and there are so many things in her life that I long to know.

People keep secrets from each other all the time. Mothers keep secrets from their daughters; daughters keep secrets from their mothers. We tell part truths. And it is these secrets – these stories that have a ripple effect throughout generations. I don’t know every single aspect of my mother’s life – but through her experiences and how she taught my sisters and I, these things have helped to turn us into the persons we have become as adults.

I’ve learnt that the cruelest words in the universe are if only. When I was away from Manchester – Flinders University, Adelaide, Australia, the initial reaction was wow freedom – hurrah. Yet as soon as I landed, I missed the smells of jasmine tea, hungered for my mum’s congee and steamed chicken, missed the chatter with our customers in the shop and the laughter around the family table late at night. I missed having my mum as a confidant – and being able to pour out my failures to my mum. But what I missed most was my mum and my family.

During my stint away from home, I’d never admit I was homesick or that I loved my mum. It was this fear of being weak. Yet every day I’d try to re-enact the usual routine I’d been accustomed to at home – even the things I hated doing such as washing up reminded me of my mum and gave me some comfort as I waded through the soapy suds. I had the freedom in Australia to go out, meet whom I wanted and not hear the nagging of my parents. Yet, this fear of not seeing them again. The fear that I might be stuck here forever – scared me and when it was finally time to return home, I was a different person and grateful for my mum.

My mother has tried so hard to protect me as a child but sometimes mothers can’t protect their children even if they try with all their might. I guess we can only do our best in the moment. My relationship with my mother has changed, evolved, endured tension and been rejuvenated through love.

On Mother’s Day (14th March), I just wanted to tell you, Mum, that I Love You and thank you for being the best Mum in the world.

To celebrate Mothers Day and to tell your mum that you love her, join us at Sweet Mandarin for a celebratory dinner (from the a la carte menu). I’ve also put together a Mother’s Day package which you are also welcome to opt for. Click here for more information.

Its finally 14th February, Valentine’s Day and also Chinese New Year – a day that evokes such an amazing energy at Sweet Mandarin because the room is filled with love. The banquet this year comprises of amazing dishes with romantic names – for example My Funny Valentine includes blackbeans dried in spring sunshine and steamed with tender chunks of beef or the Love Dare which is tender strips of chicken breast lightly battered in a fruity Shanghai inspired sauce.

As the couples enter Sweet Mandarin, the excitement level is electric; as if they were on a first date. I see the ladies smooth their silky dresses, their fingers play across their hair to make sure all their pins are in place and some even resting a hand across their heart – probably to stop its desperate, anxious beating. The dimly lit room provides some solace for blushing men who delight in their partner’s soft mist of hair, their rosebud shaped painted lips and the warmth emanating from their body.

As each of the three courses are enjoyed the couples build up courage and they reach out to hold hands resting on the cool wenge wood surface. In between the courses, they don’t seem to move and their eyes interlock almost paralysed, too in love to move, too in love to speak. Finally I hear a gentleman look intently to his date and say ‘You are beautiful here (touches her heart) and here (touches her face).’ Her face glows with joy and love. It is such a tender moment that I am transfixed. It took willpower for me to turn away and head back to the kitchen and I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as the temperature soared.

The Valentine’s Menu / Chinese New Year’s Menu at Sweet Mandarin is available for the whole of February 2010 can be found here